You nailed it girl

I was telling someone a story today that I totally forgot about. I was pretty freshly out of college and working at Ann Taylor factory store. I was lucky enough to be picked so do a store opening. It was exciting to get to do some traveling, open some new stores and meet some new people. It seemed to be working out and I did a handful of them. I got to be friends with the merchandising girl that worked in the home office in New York City! 

Somehow I was picked again to join her to work on a monthly store set! It was the coolest! I was so excited to get to work on such an awesome project that the whole company would use. It was just what I dreamed it would be. I got to see the new product and we worked together for a few days setting the clothes and typing up the actual store set.

Then it was the final day and I got to meet and show off our set to the lady in charge of the whole company! I was nervous and excited but pretty assured that we did a good job and that she would like it. After we had presented the whole set to her we got to talking about goals and what I was doing at the stores. 

Then it was the question. THE question that I didn't really prepare for but I should have known better. The question that was so much more than a getting to know you question. 

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"  

It hung in the air. It was an interview without all of the pomp and circumstance. I didn't bat an eye and I said to the head of the company "working in a store and being a mom". As you might guess, that was certainly not the answer I'm assuming she wanted to hear. But, I was being honest. That was my goal, even back then.  I knew I wanted to be a mom. I knew I didn't want to live in New York City and devote my entire life to Merchandising. I knew I loved my family and it was important for me to have them in my daily life. I knew that I could answer how she wanted me to but it wasn't being true to my real aspirations. Now I know you can actually have it all but is there anything wrong with being happy with what you want? 

Simple goals are still good to have. And as I told that story today I thought to myself that was pretty cool, i'm glad that I had the courage to be honest with her and honest with myself. And if I could high five myself from way back then, I freaking would. Because being honest with yourself is the key to happiness. Staying true to what you really want out of life is a gift! 

And I may have never made it to the big city, but I still am doing exactly what I want to be doing. I have a day job that I love. But as I knew way back then, being a mom is the best job in the world! 


The rainbow

Life is crazy for everyone. I know that
Just because I have a long commute and two little guys and I am going through a hell of a lot of personal things doesn't mean that I have it harder or easier than anyone. But sometimes it just FEELS so much harder. Like so hard that it's hard to see the light. It's 100% worth the energy and time but damn. Yesterday was one of those days. I felt beat down. I felt completely exhausted and like there was not a whole lot of hope that things would wrap up anytime soon. I'm so lucky to have an amazing support team and a mom that is here and will hug me and let me cry. We had a fun dinner with my old neighbors and on the way home I saw this. 

This beautiful sight made me smile and take a deep breath. I know that even when it feels hopeless and bad and gross and I want to cry that there is always a rainbow to look forward to.